Heidi Montag's Mom's New Job

Darlene Egelhoff (mother of Heidi Montag) has apparently hit hard times. It looks like after 21 years of owning the Timberline Restaurant in beautiful Crested Butte, Colorado, the restaurant closed. And now Darlene cleans houses as a maid in her small Colorado hometown. Now, while I don't think there is anything wrong with the house cleaning profession, I just don't think it's right for Darlene. And I seriously want to smack Heidi Montag across her plastic face and give her size G breasts a wake up call. She has not spoken to her mother in nine months and has no right to treat her that way! But no, really, Heidi needs an ass beating and while we're add it, let's jump Spencer as well (no real threats here people). These two are the biggest wastes of space and embarrassment to society, and I'm sick of them getting paid  to do nothing. So come on Cali residents and do us far away east coast people a favor, take down the Pratts!

Mariah Carey is Preggers!

The truth is finally out and the couple is finally admitting it, Mariah Carey is pregnant with hubby Nick Cannon. "Yes, we are pregnant. This is true," Carey, 41, said on the Today show this morning. This will be the couples 1st child together, and the 1st for each of them. Aw, I'm so happy for them! I was skeptical of this duo when they first got together in 2008 but they really seem to click and make it work. And who doesn't love Mariah Carey?! Home girl has the most amazing voice and seems to be such a sweet heart. So Nick, I hope you know that you are one lucky guy. And you've come a long way since your Wild N' Out days and we all know who you have to thank for that. So continue to treat my girl Mariah right and we'll be all good in the hood. Anyway, Congrats you two!

The TPT Cyrus' Break Up

Another "Hollywood" couple calls it quits. After 17 years of marriage, Billy Ray Cyrus and wife Tish Cyrus (parents of the actor and singer Miley Cyrus) are divorcing. The couple speaks out to Us saying, "As you can imagine, this is a very difficult time for our family. We are trying to work through some personal matters. We appreciate your thoughts and prayers." Now while I am sad for any family that goes through a divorce (especially sad for the children), I can't say I'm praying for the Cyrus family. For some reason they really irk me. Not only can I not stand the sound of Miley's voice (speaking, not singing) but I really don't think she's that good of an actress either. And I'm not trying to kick you while you're down Miley, but that voice KILLS me. Like nails on a chalk board. So I'm gonna go ahead and vote that you and your family should hop on a plane to BNA (Nashville airport code) with your mullet and cowboy boots and have your party in the USA over there, TPT Tennessee style. Now come on ya'll!

Cry me a river Camille Grammer

Camille Grammer, the soon to be ex-wife of actor Kelsey Grammer and cast member of the new Housewives of Beverly Hills show claims that Kelsey (her husband at the time) got her to do the Housewives show so that she could be distracted while he cheated in NYC. Apparently, the two were happily married for 13 years and the relationship only recently hit the rocks when Kelsey took a year long contract in NYC for Broadway show La Cage Aux Folles this past spring. It was then that Kelsey filed for divorce (in July) and stepped out with new love, 29 year old flight attendant Katye Walsh. And let's just say that Camille is just a tad bit bitter and upset (sarcasm ofc). But let's be serious, these superficial, plastic barbie like housewives can't expect much else. Their men clearly marry them for one thing and one thing only and we all know what that is. So ladies, I'm sorry but it looks like those perfect bodies, fake boobs, and botox wrinkle free faces aren't going to keep your men around forever. Because unfortunately there's always another b*tch younger and prettier than you. 

Justin Timberlake The Cheater

Well news has broken that Justin Timberlake has cheated on Jessica Biel with actress Olivia Munn. Apparently, Timberlake and Munn met September 26th at a MySpace event and Justin was immediately smitten. And shortly after their introduction, Timberlake and Munn carried out a secret 3 day affair while Jessica (girl friend at the time) was 3,000 miles away. Shame on you Justin. This is a classic case of a man not being able to keep it in his pants. And while I'm a fan of your music and talent Mr. Timberlake, I'm not a fan of a cheater. And what is with men cheating on their significant others with less attractive women?! I'm sorry but Jessica Biel is way hotter than Olivia Munn. So way to down grade Mr. Timberlake. And way to show the world how big of an ass you really are. 

GG Couple, Dunzo

It seems as if the 3 year relationship between Gossip Girl co-stars Blake Lively and Penn Badgley has officially ended. Us Weekly is reporting that the private couple is remaining professional and friends post break up. How mature. Not. I really love how Hollywood acts as if breaking up isn't hard to do. Such BS. Especially because Blake has been spotted recently hanging with actor Ryan Gosling. Hmmm who to choose, Dan Humphrey or Noah Calhoun? I'd pull a Blake and go for the Notebook fairy tale too. Sorry but short, thin, sensitive (well, sometimes) men just don't do it for me. And apparently not for Blake anymore either. So, Sorry Mr. Badgley but looks like sex siren Serena is moving on to bigger and better things (or men in her case). Welp, back to Brooklyn you go!

Audrina Patridge Reality Show

Former Hills reality star and the latest DWTS cast off, Audrina Patridge is now reported to be getting her very own reality tv show on VH1. She told Us backstage on the DWTS set Tuesday night (after her elimination) that "It's a reality show about me and my family. Everything that people have wondered about me, they'll now get to see!" Oh Yippee Kay Yi Yay. I mean I don't mind Audrina but home girl is as dumb as a box of rocks. And I really don't feel like watching this wanna be actress and her family whore themselves out through Hollywood. So I'm gonna go ahead and skip this one because as much as I love a bad reality show, I can't give this brainless, fake boobed brunette any more attention than she deserves. So call me a hater but airheads just don't do it for me. But Bitches do :P

The Ever So Popular Kim K

Yesterday, Tuesday October 26th, the unfairly beautiful, vivacious Kim K blogged to the world "I just realized I have passed three million friends on Facebook! Wow! I just want to thank you all for 'liking' me  and being so supportive and amazing! I love you all." I just want to give a shout out to my girl and congratulate her on such a fabulous accomplishment. No, seriously. As a social media whore myself, I know how awesome it is to have just one person "like" you but 3 million?! Insanity. Oh to be Kim Kardashian. That would be the life. Now if only my Kimmie could find a decent man that will treat her right. Oh well, only time will tell but don't worry Ms. Kardashian, I'm praying for ya ;)

Can't Nobody Keep Kanye Down

In AskMen.com's fifth annual "Most Influential Man" poll this year, Kanye West was voted by over a half a million people as #5. Seriously? Home boy beat out George Clooney, Leonardo DiCaprio, and our President Barack Obama. Is this a joke? Who was voting, children? Now while I'm not a Kanye West hater and I didn't go ballistic when he disrespected Taylor Swift on National TV (I actually found it rather funny), I don't see how the rapper comes out as the fifth most influential celeb. But you know what, you go ahead Kanye and keep on singing "Welcome to the Gooooood Liiiiife" because it doesn't look like your fat mouth has gotten you completely dismissed from the public's liking just yet. So from one fat mouth to another, I got love for you Mr. West. Now shut up and rap.

The City, Cancelled!

On Ryan Seacrest's KIIS-FM radio show Monday morning, Whitney Port reported that after 2 seasons of the City, the hit reality show has been cancelled. And I'm not very happy about it. Now I know Whitney isn't the most exciting, drama filled reality star but I still loved her and the show. Between Kelly Cutrone's inappropriate, rude comments to Erin trying to take down the always bitchy Olivia - the show kept me entertained and smiling. But now that I am without my Hills and City fix, MTV best be coming out with some new "lil rich girl, cat-fight" shows. I propose the next one involves Erin Kaplan taking down nemesis Olivia Palermo. God knows I can't stand that under bite biotch and everyone knows it's always fun watching an anorexic socialite go down in flames. Trust me, MTV, it'll be a goodie. Holla for Team Erin!

OC Housewives Cat Fight

God I love Housewives of Orange County. They never seem to disappoint. This past Saturday night at a rap party for their hit Bravo reality show, Housewives Tamra Barney and Jeana Keough got into a "wine throwing" cat fight. Apparently, Jeana had been making some inaccurate comments about Tamra to the press and home girl Tamra don't play that. So she went a little bit Jersey on Jeana's ass and threw her glass of wine on her former friends face. Jeana who then tried to retaliate, tossed her glass of wine back but missed Tamra and hit another women instead. Yikes-a-roo-roo. A little bit of advice to you though Jeana, if you're going to talk trash, at least know how to defend yourself when the person confronts you. Because this round definitely goes to the blondorexic, TPT Tamra Barney. But hey, it wasn't exactly a fair fight. Tamra does have a lil Kim Mathers in her from her 8 mile, trailer park days. hah oh well, can't wait for round 2!

Katy Perry and Russell Brand Married

Well Katy Perry is officially off the market. This past Saturday, October 23rd in India she wed WEIRDO actor and comedian Russell Brand. Now while I don't mind Katy Perry, I do wish she would have just kissed a girl and liked it. I mean how can she even be remotely attracted to this douche bag?! Ugh, okay, sooo Katy is a lil bit eccentric herself but I didn't expect her to fall for the disgusting, vile, inappropriate Russell Brand. Ew, he makes my skin crawl! Not only does he look like he NEVER showers but he's always wearing some tight ass skinny jeans that show his you know what. Ugh, Gross. Anyway because I like you Katy, I'm going to wish you luck. But don't be surprised if one year down the road you find your husband melting some guys Popsicle. I'm just saying. 

Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhaal?!

So UsMagazine.com is reporting that Jake Gyllenhaal and Taylor Swift were getting cozy in NYC together this past weekend. Taylor brought Jake to a Saturday Night Live taping and they were seen "brunching" and taking a stroll through Brooklyn together the next day. Now while there were no affectionate gestures exchanged, could it be true, is this a new couple alert? I'm definitely not feeling this duo. Taylor Swift is a talented musician and all but I find her to be a whiny, drama filled twenty year old. And I really don't feel like hearing another sad "boo-hoo" break up tune. So save yourself the high school drama Jake because the only thing you're gonna get out of this girl is your name in one of her hit pop songs. Just ask John Mayer.

J-Woww Says No to Playboy

Reality star, Jenni Farley aka J-Woww from Jersey Shore has recently turned down a $400,000 offer to pose nude in Playboy. When the topic came up during her interview on Ryan Seacrest's radio show Wednesday morning, J-Woww backed up her decision with the explanation that, "There is a better opportunity out there, which everybody will probably see soon." I'm not quite sure I understand her decision. She's basically already always nude (with her horrific outfits, etc) and isn't a playboy shoot like a 1 day thing? I hope home girl isn't holding out for that joint reality show with her girl Snooki because I heard that's a no-go. Oh well, looks like Jenni isn't the brightest crayon in the box but then again, we all knew that. Anyway, like Julia Roberts said to the sales woman in Pretty Woman, "Big mistake, Big, Huge." Should have done what you do best J!

Another Single OC Housewife

Looks like Tamra isn't going to be the only single "cougar" out on the town in Orange County, California. Her fellow cast mate, Housewife of OC, Vicki Gunvalson has filed for divorce after 15 years of marriage to her husband Donn on Monday. While the couple had many of their marital issues broad casted on national television, it looked as if they had patched up their problems in the previous season. Guess not. Honestly, I think Donn is better off. Donn is so sweet and was so tolerant of his soon to be ex-wife's neurotic behavior! And Vicki, ugh, she is an annoying, psychotic, work-a-holic, belittling Miss Piggy. So don't be sad Donn, you're going to be just fine. You'll find a sweet woman who will treat you right. Now for Miss Piggy, I'm pretty sure she's gonna be crying "wee wee wee, all the way home."

Beyonce is Preggers!

According to Us Weekly, Beyonce Knowles or Lady B as I like to call her is PREGO with hubby, rapper Jay-Z! This will be the couple's first baby. While I'm sure the couple is happy, I'm not quite sure they are jumping for joy, or at least not B. Apparently, Beyonce was shocked when she realized she was pregnant, and although she loves kids, she wanted to complete her album and tour the world again. Too bad, so sad lova, looks like Sasha Fierce (aka her stage name) is gonna be on hold for some time. Anyway, while I love Jay and his rapping skills, I'm hoping this baby looks a lil more like B. Especially if it's a girl. But overall, this baby will clearly be blessed. Rapper, singer, performer, actor...now that's one nice gene pool for one kid. Lucky b*astard.

Hollywood & their weird baby names

Seriously, do all celebrities in Tinseltown feel the need to name their babies the most retarded/outrageous names possible?! We have Apple by Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin, CoCo by Courteney Cox and David Arquette, Sparrow by Nicole Richie and Joel Madden and now EGYPT by Alicia Keys and Swizz Beats. Apparently we should all start naming our children after fruits, dogs, birds, and countries. But really, is it that hard to name your kid something semi normal? Hollywood is so weird and I'm over their weird ass names. No wonder they can't make their marriages last, they can barely pick out a decent baby name!

Lea Michele and her large schnoz

In the November issue of GQ Magazine, Lea Michele (cast member of the hit show Glee) shares with the world that she's "proud she never got a nose job." Apparently back in high school, many of her classmates were getting nose jobs left and right but Lea's mom wouldn't allow it. Her mother even used to reference Barbra Streisand's nose saying, "Barbra Streisand didn’t get a nose job. You’re not getting a nose job." Great example Mama Michele! Anyway, while I agree that Lea is a cute, itty bitty Glee star, I'm gonna have to say that I don't think a nose job would hurt. It is a little on the big side. BUT then again, a nose job would make her near perfect and nobody likes a perfect person. So go ahead Lea, keep on rockin' that large schnoz. 

Jesse James & Kat Von D already on the rocks

According to People Magazine, Jesse James (CEO of West Coast Choppers and Sandra Bullocks ex-husband) and Kat Von D (L.A. Ink star) are already on the rocks. Apparently, Kat is frustrated with their long distance relationship and isn't too happy with Jesse moving to Austin, Texas. Oh no, what will the tattooed twosome do?! Honestly, I don't really care. Although, I don't mind seeing Jesse's love life blow up in flames, especially after the public humiliation he caused my girl Sandra. But maybe these white trash lovers belong together. I say: Do us all a favor, stay together and take your nasty selves off the market because believe me no one will miss ya.

Jet Setting in Style or Comfort?!

So last night when I went to lay out my "flight" ensemble for traveling to Seattle, I automatically went for the black juicy sweats, printed glittery "love" tee, alternative apparel pink zip up hoodie, and of course my black Uggs. The thought didn't even cross my mind to throw on anything trendy and cute. But after hitting up my favorite online mag, UsMagazine.com and seeing the way celebs like Victoria Beckham, Kim K, and Beyonce travel, I began to think if I should have dressed differently? And about 2.2 seconds later, my answer came to me, "nope!" Victoria Beckham may travel in her skin tight designer dress and heels but not me. I have no one to impress, and my sister Kelly doesn't count. So continue to be uncomfortable in your designer wear Mrs. Beckham, I'm sticking to my slum wear. 

JSimpson Loses Her Gay

It looks like Jessica Simpson is one of those girls that doesn't know how to balance her time between her love life and friendships. Her former "bff" Stylist Kev Paves is definitely over Jess not being able to have friends and a man. And E! News is reporting that Ken has even cut Jess from his list of celebrity clients. When asked if Simpson, 30, was still his client, Paves struggled to put his words together. "Yes, but no, but..." he stammered. Seriously, can't stand girls like this. Why is it so hard to have friends and a man, at the same time? Girls like her need to realize that men come & go but friends are forever. Especially for her because she clearly can't keep a man. Welp good luck Ms. Simpson. Oh, and I hope you at least get another hair stylist because those roots are gonna need a touch sooner than you know. 

Mischa Barton and Depression

Mischa Barton aka that actress who hasn't done one thing since her days on the O.C. is opening up about her struggle with depression. The struggling actress who checked herself in to a psychiatric hospital last fall says she deals with her illness through music and literature. Seriously? Wouldn't you need something a little bit stronger to balance your emotions and hormones?! I'm not buying it. But I can say that after making the stupid decision to leave the hit FOX tv show (the O.C.), I'd be pretty depressed too. Especially since she said she was leaving the show for bigger and better things, and that definitely didn't happen. Maybe try cleaning up your act a little bit Mischa and make a come back as Marissa Cooper, part 2. I always did love Ryan and Marissa. O.C., the college days, make it happen girl friend! Your life depends on it ;)

One Lucky Cookie is Snooki

Dang, homegirl Snooki (aka Nicole Polizzi) is definitely getting more than her 15 minutes of fame from Jersey Shore. She is now rumored to be starring in her very own spinoff show on MTV. She was suppose to be filming this spinoff with her bff JWoww but looks like Jenny got the curb. MTV Execs seem to believe the show would be more popular sans JWoww, and I can't say I disagree. But the question is, do I think Snooki even deserves all of this attention, fame and money to begin with? I can't say I do. While I find the Jersey Shore cast extremely hilarious and entertaining, I think it's unfair to the rest of us funny, entertaining "regular" people to allow them all the fame. Hey MTV, come to NOVA, I promise you won't regret it. We may not be guido trash but we can most definitely show you a good time!

Aguilera ain't playin', Divorcing already

2 days after UsMagazine.com reported that Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman were separating, they are now confirming that Christina has filed for divorce (according to their TMZ contacts). Christina is citing "irreconcilable differences" and is asking for joint physical and legal custody over their 2 year old child, Max. The divorce petition also asks that "Earnings and accumulations of [Aguilera] before marriage, during marriage and from and after the date of separation" be considered separate property. Well I'm sorry Mr. Bratman, it doesn't even look like you were given a chance and Ms. Aguilera isn't wasting any time. And she most certainly isn't trying to go 50/50 with the dollar dollar bills either. Good thing you're a big shot music producer. Anyway, better luck next time buddy, maybe follow your roots and find yourself a nice NYC jewish girl. Best Wishes :P

Jillian Michaels is NOT a fake!

The L.A. Times has recently come out with a few statements regarding Jillian Michaels and her reputation as a trainer, calling her "an actress playing the role of fitness trainer." I completely disagree with their false accusations and am definitely Team Michaels. Like NBC would hire her for the Biggest Loser and Losing it with Jillian if she didn't know what she was doing. Have you seen home girls body?! I mean that right there should be justification that she knows what's up. So hate on LA Times because my girl Jillian is firing back and going legal on your ass. Hello, have you not heard of defamation and libel? I'm not a lawyer and I still know you can't pull BS like that. I wish you luck L.A. Times because kick ass Jillian is taking you down! Hoorah!

T.I. to the rescue

Yesterday, while listening to an Atlanta radio station V-103, rapper T.I. hears that a man (name unknown) is atop of an Atlanta skyscraper ready to jump and commit suicide. T.I. immediately drove to the scene and asked to help the police in convincing the man not to jump. The suicidal man agrees to come down after T.I. agrees to meet one on one with him. T.I. comforts the man and convinces him that his life will get better and things can turn around. Wow, who knew T.I. had such inspirational, therapist like skills. Not me, but home boy definitely saved a life. I'm gonna go ahead and say that those suspicious drug offense charges that he got arrested for last month be dropped. T.I. is my boy and after this good deed, I say he gets to start fresh. Come on justice system, a little weed never hurt anybody. Free T.I.!

So Over Boring LC

Lauren Conrad starts filming her new MTV reality show in a week. It will be focusing on less drama and more around fashion, getting her new line, Paper Crown off the ground.  Now while the "more fashion" excites me, less drama does not. Hello MTV, we watch the reality shows for the drama! And LC is boooring. She's a wet blanket who can't get a fashion line up and running. I mean come on, homegirl even had to resort to Kohls (no offense to those who shop there, just not my style!) after her first line, Lauren Conrad failed in higher end stores. Let's let her friend Whitney Port stick to the fashion line. Anyway, I say bring the bitch back. Kristin Cavallari is far more exciting and entertaining, and she keeps it real. But truth be told, I'll probably be watching the show anyway. They get me everytime.

Watch out Jessica Simpson

Jessica Simpson's current boy friend, former NFL player Eric Johnson is officially divorced. According to UsMagazine.com, his marriage to his now ex wife, stylist Keri Johnson legally ended October 7th. So congratulations Jessica Simpson, you are NOW dating a single man - unlike before. As you can tell, I'm definitely not a fan of this relationship. Not only do I agree with the rumors that Eric is using Jess for fame but I think he is an overall worthless, waste of space man. And he's not even that hot, sorry more points deducted buddy for lack of good looks. But anyway, if that's what Jess wants, that's what Jess gets. I just thought she was a little bit wiser than that. But then again she did think buffalo wings came from buffalo. I rest my case.

RZOE PREGO!

I could not be happier to blog that Stylist to the Stars, Rachel Zoe is PREGNANT! If US Weekly is reporting it then it must be true :P But who I am most happy for is RZoe's hubby, Rodger. Poor Rodg has been wanting a baby from Rach forever now and he's finally getting his wish. But for Rachel's sake, I hope she pops out a baby girl because homegirl is not gonna know what to do with a boy. Anyway, it is now time for Rachel to start packing on those pounds. That double zero, anny frame is definitely not going to be pushing out no baby. So hit the cupcake shop Rach because your 20 venti coffees a day aren't gonna cut it. Happy Eating!

ByeBye Situation

The Situation was sent home last night on DWTS. Why this makes me happy, I do not know. Perhaps it's because Mike Sorrentino (aka the Situation) needed a reality check that he's not ALL that and a bag of chips. He may be creative (I mean he did come up with GTL, GFF, Landmines, etc), hilarious and have a bangin body but he is not as perfect and hot as he thinks he is. I think the "dirty little hamster" Angelina got one thing right during her stay in the house in Miami when she basically called Mike out for having a rat, old man, busted face. Anyway, while the Situation is hysterical and I totally enjoy watching him on JS, I think I may be over his 15 mins of fame. But will I keep on watching? Yup. Will he continued to get paid? Yup. Gah, you stupid, funny, guido.

Give me a break Giuliana Rancic

Recently, Teen Bullying has become a popular topic of conversation amongst the stars after tragic recent events. While I obviously do not agree with teen bullying and am highly against it, I think some stars are coming out of the wood works with fake "I was bullied too" sob stories. Giuliana Rancic being one of them. She opened up to UsMagazine.com telling them that "Everyone called me Gooliana and Googly Eyes" and "I didn't speak the language, I was Italian, I looked different than the other kids." Ah, it must have been so hard being an exotic, skinny, big eyed young lady, right Giuliana? I love how some of the beautiful and skinny celebrities claim they were traumatized as a kid. So ironic, right? While I'm sure some of this is true and the real stories about innocent kids are extremely sad, I'm still on the "shut up and cry me a river Giuliana" team. Now go report the celebrity gossip on E please, thanks!

Lady Gaga, Not a Fashionista

Tim Gunn from Project Runway is obviously a respected name in the fashion industry, and he's not shy on sharing his opinions. And there is one opinion I could not agree with more. He was recently asked what he thought of a few starlets fashion sense, and when asked about Lady Gaga he said the following, "Who would want to emulate that? ...It's not fashion. Those are costumes." Thank you Tim for calling it like it is. Lady Gaga is not a fashion icon, she is a complete and utter weirdo who wears the most off the wall costumes to get attention. While she may be talented in the music industry, she is NOT in the fashion world. Thank you Tim Gunn for keepin' it real. Make it work!

Another one bites the dust

Looks like Courteney Cox and David Arquette aren't the only two headed towards Splitsville. Christina Aguilera and husband Jordan Bratman have separated as well according to US. Apparently, their love connection has fizzled after only 5 years of marriage. Ouch. I'm gonna go ahead and say that Christina's beer goggles just unclogged and she finally got a good look at her hubby. Now I'm not trying to get nasty and mean because you can't help what you look like (to an extent) but let's be real and call it like it is - Jordan is definitely not a looker. He may be very nice and a good man but doesn't look like thats working for Christina anymore. Anyway, they haven't filed for divorce yet so there's still a chance for you buddy. I'll say a prayer.

Back Off Joan Collins

Joan Collins (former Dynasty actress) has recently publicized in London's Daily Mail that she believes Angelina Jolie (aka homewrecker) is more beautiful than Jen Aniston. Joan, you may be 77 and about to croke but I'm still not gonna go easy on ya. 1. Who the heck are you to judge beauty anyway? Not trying to go hard on a grandma or anything but you're about 5 face lifts too deep and 2. You would think Angelina is more beautiful, she's probably going to look just like you when she's 77, and that's not a compliment. Seriously, everyone needs to back off my girl Jen. I'm sorry she's not a fake humanitarian and sloot. Gah, people are so blind. Jen, I love you.

Ronnie, You're a DBAG!

Apparently Ronnie from Jersey Shore is ashamed of how he treated girl friend Sammie (during this seasons JS) in Miami. He is coming out to MTV that he is so embarrassed for what he did to her. Seriously, he is such a drunk, psycho path. You were on national television you moron, of course you feel bad. Maybe because the whole country watched you cheat and treat your girl friend like crap. And watched her dumb ass take you back, and back, and back. These two people are seriously perfect for each other. Sam, you're a fool and pathetic and Ron, you're a dbag and pathological liar. May you live happily ever after in your awful guido land because the world is definitely over SAM and Ron. Goodbye. 

David Arquette and Courteney Cox Dunzo!

UsMagazine.com is coming out that David Arquette and Courteney Cox are separating after 11 years of marriage. David and Courteney are pledging to remain friends while they continue to raise their 6 year old daughter CoCo. Ah, the good old "staying friends excuse." Such a load of crap. Well, I can't say I saw this one coming but then again they are a typical "hollywood" couple and it is the 21st century so we all shouldn't be too shocked. Anyway, looks like Jen Aniston will have her bff by her side more often. Hey Courteney, looks like your Cougar Town show has turned in to a reality. Good thing you're a hottie. And David, sorry but I don't think you'll be too missed. Team Jen and Court for life!  

Flawless Minka Kelly

In the November issue of Esquire Magazine, Minka Kelly, star of Friday Night Lights is proclaiming how happy she is to be in her thirties and goes on to say how cool she is with her "flaws" and such. Minka, weren't you just named Esquire's Sexiest Woman Alive?! No wonder you're cool with your flaws and all that stuff, you have none! I mean let's be real, you're dating New York Yankee Derek Jeter, you are incredibly good looking, rich and famous. Hmmm I think I'd be pretty happy to be 30 and all that too. So Minka, until your overweight, single, and poor, don't be talking to the rest of us about being cool with your flaws. Because we all know you're only okay with them because you don't have them. Duh. 

KimK and NYC Bar Fight

Looks like the Kardashian sisters are having some what of a "rude" welcoming in NYC. Well at least by intoxicated men and insecure, jealous women. While filming their brand new reality show (Kourtney and Kim Take New York) at a club in the big apple, a little "drink throwing" incident occurred. Apparently, an obviously over dramatic, drunk woman got jealous after her man asked for Kim's autograph (he was also said to be groping her, etc) and proceeded to throw her drink at the bootylicious E star. Luckily, for once in his life, Scott (Kourts bf and baby daddy) Disick came to the rescue and punched the drunk perv. But before things escalated into an even bigger situation, the Kardashian sisters plus dbag Scott fled the scene. Looks like Scottie boy just got some brownie points from the Kardashian fam. And I don't think I'll be saying this much but good work Disick, thanks for keeping Kimmie safe :) And to the 2 NYC drunks, hate on haters. 

Braless Britney

Why can't everyone just leave my girl Brit alone?! If the worst thing she is doing is running errands/shopping braless, shouldn't we all be happy? It's not like she's off shaving her head again or mumbling jibberish in a fake British accent. She's shopping. Braless. Let's get over it. Those contraptions aren't that comfortable anyway so I'm gonna go ahead and give my girl BritBrit a high five. And Ms. Spears, don't sweat your "style blunder." Not everyone can look "I'm a slave for you" hot everyday. Do your thing girl.

Love Home Sweet Hollywood

I can't quite explain why but I really do love Tori Spelling. Whether it dates back to the "Let Donna Martin Graduate" 90210 days or to her current show Home Sweet Hollywood on Oxygen with hubby Dean McDermott; Overall, I'm just a Tori Spelling fan. She may be a little anny and neurotic but I'm loving it. Because when you break it down, she really is such a great mom and wife. Anddd her Type A, psycho anal ways just make me feel a little bit better about myself. Anyway, can't wait for the SIXTH season of Home Sweet Hollywood to premiere. Let's all chant, "Let Donna Martin Graduate!" - haha Love it.

Linda Hogan rocks the boat

Seriously each member of the Hogan family are ALL disgusting. But the most ridiculous situation going on right now is that Linda Hogan (Hulk Hogan's ex) is literally dating someone her son Nick's age. Which is the young age of 20! And Nick approves! If this isn't right out of a TPT (aka trailer park trash) movie, I don't know what is. Desperate mid-age, white trash mom falls "in love" with one of her son's classmates. Like come onnn. You're a punch line waiting to happen. You were better off in your disfunctional marriage with Hulk. But hey, what ever rocks your boat Linda or hmm I mean trailer :P

Keep it real Cat

Now I know Cat isn't everyone's favorite DC HW and she's definitely known as the "mean girl" on the show BUT I'm gonna go ahead and applaud her for deciding to get rid of her non-existent, pompous a**hole husband, Charles. Not only is the "White House" photographer never around but when he is, all he seems to be consumed with is himself. I hope Cat can get some money out of arrogant Chucky boy because I think home boy needs a rude awakening. And somebody needs to give my girl Cat a break. She may be out spoken and a bit bitchy but at least she isn't fake. Be real or go home, that's to you Michaele.

Get a clue Amber

Teen Mom, Amber Portwood is a hot mess. Home girl not only assaulted her ex boy friend Gary 2 episodes ago but now she's come out of the woodworks with a new beau, Chris Hossman, whom she met at WAL-MART. Yes, Walmart. Then it just so happens that on their first date, he informs her he's basically in "jail." Anddd it just so happens that he also has child molestation charges dating back to 2005. Wow. Congratulations Amber, you definitely chose a winner. Not. And you thought chunky monkey Gary was a bad guy? Say Ambular, open your eyes, Gary is the best guy you're gonna get. Sorry sweetie. 

Google Me, I Think Not

Oh god Kim Zolciak from HW of ATL is coming out with another "club" song. This time called "Google Me." Oh Kim, Sweetie, believe me, no one wants to google you, if anything we want your 5 mins of fame to end. And if I stand corrected I think you stole that line from my bff Alison Shafer. "My name is alison shafer, DON'T google me." So come on Kimmie & be a lil bit more original :P

Gross me out JSimpson

I don't think Jessica Simpson quite understands the TMI rule. She seems to be on a "let me share my farting obsession with the world" roll. Back in January during a business meeting for her denim line, she let out a very loud fart. Now she's tweeting about a website on "how to fart less." Newsflash to Jessica Simpson, I know all women are different and some of you feel free to expose your bowel movements to the public but I'm gonna go ahead and say my girl Jess should keep that private. It's killing your hotness. Come on Jess, keep your farting to yourself. Or at least do us all a favor and excuse yourself to the bathoom!

Lay Off Maci

Ryan Edwards from Teen Mom aka dead beat dad is accusing sweet lil Maci of cheating on him when they were together with her now beau Kyle King. I'm embarrassed to admit this but during the first season of this show, I was all for Ryan, and of course for all of the wrong reasons. You may be good looking Ryan, but you sure are as dumb as rocks. Who the heck do you think is going to believe you over Maci? Do us all a favor, be a man, get a job, shut up, and most of all back off on trashing my girl Maci. Ugh. 

Posh Spice: "My Husband's Perfect"

In the Marie Claire November issue out now, Victoria Beckham goes on and on about how perfect her husband is. And apparently, the rest of the world is just trying to find something wrong with him. While I must admit that David is easy on the eyes and his body is to die for, I don't think I'd go on and on calling him "perfect." Especially after the recent cheating allegations. Posh, I know it's hard to keep that opinionated mouth shut but save yourself the embarrassment and just stay quiet. After all, your husband is rumored to be canoodling with a hooker. Not so perfect after all, huh? 

Shut up Jessica Alba

In a recent British GQ article, Jessica Alba is complaining about her post-baby body. She insists that her breasts are saggy, her hips are big, and she even has cellulite. Oh no, not cellulite! Join the club Jessica. And honestly, I don't even want to hear it. What size are you again, homegirl? A zero? Oh yeah, your hips are HUGE. I typically love you Mrs. Cash Warren but you need to get over yourself because no one's buying it.